Living The Lifestyles Of Our Parents

Often times when young people get married or leave home for the first time they experience a feeling of invincibility.  They can’t imagine any challenge or hardship that they won’t be able to overcome and they honestly expect that life is only going to get better from here on out.  This blissful happiness and temporal optimism can continue for many weeks and even months.  However, soon the challenges and responsibilities of a family bring many problems and obstacles that you’ve never had to face before.  A young couple just starting out or even a single person just venturing out on their own can soon find themselves facing many hardships and difficulties, not the least of which is financial debt.  Of course there are many reasons that individuals and especially young married couples get into financial problems, but this article will only be addressing one of the more common mistakes that plague young people in our society today.  That is trying to live the same lifestyle that your parents do, without being able to afford it.

Without a doubt God has blessed this nation that we live in.  One of the benefits of these blessings is being able to enjoy a standard of living that is consistently improving.  Even the poor in America have many of the conveniences and luxuries only dreamed about in many other countries around the world.  In the United States only 12% of the population is considered to be living below the poverty line, while in Haiti an astounding 80% of the population is considered to be impoverished.  In 2003, unemployment was only 6.2% in the U.S., compared to 70% in Zimbabwe.  Death by starvation is unheard of America, but worldwide someone dies of starvation every 3.4 seconds.

Many individuals that are leaving home to begin a life of their own are leaving a life of comparative luxury.  Their parents own 2 cars, both of which are reasonably new.  They live in a 2-story, 4-bedroom house in one of the nicer parts of town.  They go out for dinner on a regular basis.  They take multiple vacations each year.  If they are out shopping and see something that they need or want, they go ahead and buy it. 

This is the lifestyle and atmosphere that young people are accustomed to when they begin to start their own families.  So this is the same lifestyle that they expect to continue to have.  Young wives expect their new husband to provide them with the same lifestyle and possessions that their parents provided for them.  Young husbands also expect to continue to maintain the same lifestyle they’ve enjoyed as a single person.

Now it is easy to look at all of the possessions that your parents have and expect to have them yourself.  You can look at the lifestyle that they have and just assume that is the way your lifestyle should be as well.  However, this is like comparing apples to oranges.  It would be much better if you asked your parents what kind of house they started out living in.  How many vacations did they take the first few years of their marriage?  How often did they go out to eat?  What kind of gifts did they get for each other for Christmas when they were newly married? 

It may come as a surprise to many young people to find out that their parents have not always been able to enjoy the lifestyle that you’ve seen them living over the last few years.  Most of our parents started out living in houses that we wouldn’t even consider living in.  They drove cars that we would be ashamed to be seen in.  If they took vacations at all, it was just to go visit family.  Eating out was something that only occurred once or twice a year, not once or twice per week.  They might give you nice gifts for Christmas now, but in the beginning they could barely afford gifts at all. 

Now this certainly isn’t indicative of every single family.  Some may have been better off, but some were certainly worse off.  Regardless, the point is that when your parents were first starting their life together they didn’t have the same material possessions nor could they afford the lifestyle that you see them living today.  It took many of them 20, 25, or even 30 years to be able to afford the house they live in now.  Many of them drove used cars that required faith to even operate, before they were able to afford that new Buick that they might drive today.  So, we are sadly mistaken if we think that we should immediately be entitled to live the same lifestyle that took our parents so long to achieve!

As young people, we do have things much better than our parents did 30 years ago.  Even just starting out, many of us can afford to live in nicer houses than they did.  We are able to drive nicer cars than they could.  Even take more vacations and buy more and nicer “things” than they were able to do.  However, it is important to maintain a lifestyle that you can afford rather than just using debt to finance the lifestyle that you would like to have. 

There’s nothing wrong with living in a newly-constructed 2-story house…if you can afford it.  However, you may be much better off with an older 2-bedroom ranch.  Now that might be a step down to what you’ve been used to while living with your parents, but remember they didn’t start out that way.  They probably had to save for many years before they could afford the type of house that you think you need to have even though you’re just starting out. 

Having two beautiful, brand-new vehicles is a very nice…if you can afford it.  Ask your parents what kind of vehicles they drove when they were newly married.  Your income may indicate that you would be much better off driving a used vehicle. 

I think you get my point.  There is nothing wrong with having any of the material possessions that your parents may have…just as long as you can afford it.  However, for most individuals they will have to accept the fact that they can’t have everything that their parents have.  At least not when they are first starting out.  Use your own income and situation as a basis for these decisions rather than what you are used to or see that other people have.  Making the right choices early on can save you a lot of financial turmoil and stress.  Even if this means giving up some of the benefits that you had while living with your parents.

In conclusion, much of the debt that is being incurred by young people today is because they are trying to have immediately what it took their parents years to obtain.  A wiser younger person/couple will realize that they will be much better off (both now and in the future) if they accept a more modest standard of living.  In most cases, this will probably require you to “downgrade” the lifestyle that you’ve become accustomed to.  However, the quicker that you are able to do this, the sooner that you will be able to improve your standard of living.  Your “dream house” may have to remain just a dream for a few years, but this will give you something to work for.  If you’re able to minimize debt while you’re young, then you will most likely get to enjoy the lifestyle of your parents at a much earlier age than they did.